Last Year

One year ago today I was scared to death of what my life would be like on this date today. I knew I was going to have a baby, but I had no idea what that meant then. Camden's dad had just left, my dad didn't want me having a baby alone, and no one else knew I was pregnant besides my best friend. Waking up was a constant struggle for me, I would sit and spend my days scared and alone with no one to talk to. The only reason I'm writing about this now is to remind myself how far I have come from last year. This has been one of the hardest, most stressful, but amazing and beautiful years of my life. I have my son to thank for all of that, for who I am right now. The truth is, the only thing that got me through the year was him. I remember putting my hand on my not so big baby bump last year and telling Camden that I would be enough for him, good enough, strong enough, just enough. People always say how they feel sorry for me, that I'm doing it alone, but I'm not. If I wasn't doing this by myself I would probably be the same person I was last year, selfish, always caring what other people thought, relying on other people to make feel better. Sometimes you need a little struggle to find out how strong you can really be.