Difficult Decisions

I always try to make the best decisions for Camden and I think I do a good job at it. I research everything, I look up statistics, I do everything in my power to give Camden the best of everything. Almost all decisions I have had to make for him have come easy, except the one I had to make about child support. I decided to not go for child support and it was an emotionally draining decision. The hardest part about making that decision is that no one agrees with me on it, and with no support to begin with it's been making me constantly question my choice, and I hate that.

When I was pregnant I always planned on getting child support, because after all he does deserve it, but getting child support means that Camden's "dad" could possibly get visitation of him and that's not something I want to risk. All I wanted when I was pregnant was for Camden's dad to be there and take responsibility and give my son the father figure he deserved, but the moment I held Camden for the first time I knew he could never do that. I want my son to have a stable family life, something I never really had. I want him to grow up with two parents who get along and not be bounced from house to house, and honestly, I didn't know if Camden's dad would file for visitation just because he was bitter about having to pay money for a child he never wanted. 

I only started to question myself when my family started making comments about it. They told me I was being selfish and not giving Camden the best life I could and that's the opposite of what I was trying to do. What kind of life would Camden have if his dad was involved? He would grow up knowing who is dad was, yes, but he would also grow up knowing his dad never wanted him or wanted to be involved in all of this. He would grow up seeing his dad once a year, if that, because he lives out of state. After reading all I wrote it just reassures me this is the right decision, but it doesn't make it any easier having everyone tell me it's the wrong one. I know this means things may be harder for me, raising Camden because I'm going to have to work twice as hard now to provide for him, but I'm willing to do that if it means giving him the life he deserves.

I know Camden will thank me one day for making this difficult decision.